Thursday, December 21, 2006

In case you weren't sure

UCLA is superior. Thank you.

If they are timely...

What am I? A Psychic?

Gawker Book Club: Extra-Timely Edition

Some people like to say that living well is the best revenge. Well, living well is pretty good revenge, but the best? We think that'd have to be something along the lines of: writing a roman a clef about your evil ex-boss that's being published at around the same time that said ex-boss is getting fired and dragged through the mud in the media. Congratulations, Bridie Clark! You're one lucky bitch, and your book, Because She Can, is the next subject of our occasional Book Club. If you've sat around the coffee table with us for previous installments of the Club, you recall that the way this works is that we flip to a random page and give you a little dose. But this time, we're going to focus on the bits of the book that squeaked most narrowly through what must've been the most scrupulous legal read EVER. After the jump, our heroine's job interview with Rudith Jegan. Okay, okay, "Vivian Grant."

Gawker just LOVES to talk about Ms. Regan. For more of Gawkers coverage, see here.

Holiday Funnies

Thanks, Britta.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Because I can't

While doing some further investigation into how a MediaBistro editor could find this blog out of the millions out there, I found that my blog had been linked to an article they had written in late September.

Just shows how careful you have to be.

Oh, Gawker Media Mole and FishBowl LA, how I wish I could talk. I'm sure all the other anonymous sources that have been spilling the beans will give you plenty to write about; just find the ex-Regan Assistants/Editors support group.

One thing is for sure, Bridie Clark couldn't be publishing her book at a better time.


For those of you who aren't immersed in media market lingo on a daily basis, Social Networking sites are those we refer to fondly as facebook, myspace, friendster and the like.

There was a huge uproar when facebook began it's feeds a few months ago. Labeled as the "Facebook Riots," It seemed as if (even if only temporarily) people did not want other users to have access to their every-day online movements. After a huge public apology by Mark Zuckerberg and assurences of preservation of privacy through the site, feeds have become an everyday part of the facebook experience.

What I think Mark Zuckerberg and other Social networking geniuses (I use the word genius lightly here) tapped into was that people want information. I know you are thinking, well...ok, people want information big woop right?

No, no, my friend, People want information about you! User Generated Media sites or UGM's for us Media Marketing professionals, exploded this year through sites such as YouTube, Wikipedia and yes, Facebook and Myspace.

You think people don't notice when you change the background on your myspace page? Think again. Linking your blog to your myspace page or mentioning past jobs is harmless right? Nope.

I have had run-ins in the past with saying too much on a previous xanga, and in the past three days I have been contacted by both LA Weekly and FishbowlLA wanting to interview me because of a friend I have on Facebook, and information they accessed through Myspace and this blog.

I think I already said too much in that entry but I'm glad I held my tongue just enough to keep me out of trouble.

Either way it's just a bit astounding to know how much access people have to information about you. People put restrictions on their comments pages because of a fear that future employers may read something inflamtory which would steer them away from wanting to hire that candidate. The information is out there, like it or not, and as much as I have rejected this archaic fear of posting personal photos, essays, and opinions, I am starting to think it may be wise to think twice before posting something that could be potentially damaging.

If you haven't already "googled" yourself (besides being an internet dinosaur) you'd be interested to see some of the stuff that will come up.

So since I have been become such an internet celebrity, Keith Olbermann or Andrew Sullivan, if you are reading, I'd love to sit down with a cup of coffee and pick your brain(s).

Oh, and I'll buy.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Judith Regan Fired

I can't say I'm very surprised, I think elated would have to be the word.

It's days like these I wish I hadn't signed that confidentiality agreement.

Apparently Judith got fired for making some anti-semtic statements towards her lawyer. Jane Friedman doesn't exactly have a soft spot in her heart for the hard hitting publisher so Judith giving her any room to budge during this controversial time was not a smart move. I've heard and heard of Judith saying some pretty awful stuff. She's pretty much uncensored and foul mouthed and its nice to see her have to finally face her consequences. There are millions of snubbed employees jumping for joy right about now.

If you want to read the LATIMES article they did a good job of laying the story out.

'Offensive' phone call by publisher preceded her firing

Sunday, December 17, 2006

An Inconvenient Truth

Just finished watching An Inconvenient Truth and if there were ever a movie to get you off your ass from mere guilt then this would be it.

Boyan and I have been always been fans of documentaries and more recently have had our eyes glued on BBC's new TV series Planet Earth as well as the Discovery Channels' Discovery Atlas. While these documentary shorts are focused on showing parts of the world with a new perspective, An Inconvenient Truth goes a step beyond by telling us how close we are to losing the beautiful and balanced climate which has made life on earth sustainable for so long.

I am not an environmentalist by any means. I don't vote Green, I eat meat, If I could afford fur I am sure I would wear it, but there are things about how humans abuse the environment that is truly upsetting to me.

1. Public Transportation: I've always had a problem with the public transportation system in Los Angeles. If you have visited any other major city in America or abroad and used public transportation you can't help but see fault in the way the city addresses mass transit.

It is true the city is stretched out over a large area, it is also true that our ability to create an underground subway system is limited, but other factors that can be changed are prohibiting the improvement of mass transit as well as pollution and traffic (such as, wealthy beach residents not wanting undesirable tourists bus-ing in from downtown or the fact that cars are such a status symbol in Los Angeles).

I am just as guilty as everyone else for driving my single passenger vehicle to work everyday. I am going to try to take the bus at least one day a week if not more, that is a promise.

2. Population: The population is growing at such an astronomical rate and our economy is struggling to keep up.

Two things that need to be addressed for this problem.
- Accessibility of Birth Control and Sex Education. It is down right irresponsible to promote abstinence while saying No to birth control. Teen pregancy cost U.S. Taxpayers 9.1 Billion dollars in 2004. Its a serious problem that is being inhibited by ignorance and moral issues which should have no place in politics.

Paul Ehrlich wrote an article in New Scientist magazine at the end of September addressing the problem of population and said, "Much of today's population growth is occurring is rural regions in the developing world..." It is safe to assume that a majority of these people have access to little or no birth control or sex education.

-Which brings us to Illegal Immigration. He went on to say that, "an increasing number of young people migrate to cities and to wealthier countries looking for a better life." Well, yea it's an obvious point but one that needs to be said. Illegal immigration leads to higher birth rates, (anchor babies or children born in the states insuring it's American citizenship), poor health care for those residents, and exploitation of immigrant workers. Numbers of working-age people are said to rise by 3% per year.

"Expanding populations also create rising demands for food, energy and materials. The strain this puts on ecosystems and resources in developing countries is compounded by demands from industrialized nations keen to exploit everything from timber and tropical fruits to metals and petroleum."

Its alarming how interconnected these problems tend to be, and how small changes can make a big difference in combating negative consequences.

In the end helping our environment does become political. An Inconvenient Truth harbors good intentions but there is a political message hidden between its statistics and charts. It tells the tale of the would-be President and how things could have and would have been different if he had not been cheated in Florida. Gore mentions the failure of the White House to uphold its promises of curbing Global Warming while clearly demanding citizens to "Vote for Candidates" dedicated to environmental issues, a thinly veiled way of saying Vote Democrat.

My own little speech is enough to show how interconnected saving the planet and the politics of our country truly are. It all seems to fall back on the faulty practice of dictating policy based on issues of morality. NO- it's not a crime to teach REPRODUCTIVE science in the classroom. Telling your children that sex is something you do only after you are married and abstinence is the only birth control is not going to prevent them from having sex-- but it will most definitely insure that if they do have sex it will not be done safely. Making sex education and birth control available is not enabling them, it's making them educated and preventing pregnancy and disease.

Protecting our borders, TRULY protecting our borders and penalizing businesses that employ illegal workers is not HARSH-- it is our right. It protects the workers from being exploited and protects tax payers from expenses created by these workers. It protects our citizens from terrorism and crime. Maybe even working with the Mexican and Central-American governments by helping them build their own economy would make their citizens want to stay and build their own economy.

Small things make a difference. Like I said before I am going to begin taking the bus more often. I plan on bringing my own bags to the grocery store. I already recycle but I will make sure I recycle more consistently and with a wider range of products.

The entirety of 2007 will be spent preparing for the 2008 elections and the two major changes I hope to see abound will be the expulsion of moral politics and the Christian conservatives (I am hoping people will see the failure of Bush as a signifier that putting religion over politics has devastating consequences-- pertaining to issues such as the war in Iraq, gay marriage [which in the future will be known as the SECOND Civil Rights movement], protection of roe v. wade if not a federal definition of sex education and birth control for minors) and a nation wide initiative to curb global warming (Kyoto anybody?).

The logic behind a country who refuses to accept the development of governments based on Islam in the middle east while try to create a Theocracy in the states is beyond my own comprehension. Are we saying that a government based on Islam is WRONG because it only exists in the form of Islamo-facism? What would the U.S. be if our government policy was dictated based on principles of Christianity? Christio-facism? Whatever it may be I am sure the founding fathers would roll in their graves. It's irresponsible and damaging to the health of our nation.

We only have 50 years before major consequences from our irresponsible consumption will occur and we have to start today to ensure a future for tomorrow. A Change is going to come. It's already at least six years past due.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Works of Journalistic Genius

For those of you who are interested in what I do everyday, please take a look at these Pulitzer worthy news pieces at iMedia Connection.

Sony Caught in Fake Blog Scandal

Ex-Myspace Chair Pushes ".tv" Domain

MingleNow Bridges Social Networking Gap

Monday, November 27, 2006

On a personal note...

What a complete disaster this past two months have been. No matter how much you prepare yourself for the tempestuous life you face as an aspiring writer/editor/journalist nothing can ready you for the past couple months I have endured.

Disappointment both pecuniary and privately, from friends and family—I have learned that though strong I may be in spirit, the damage of alcohol, tobacco, and self-inflicted woe does take its toll on my person.

I do believe that I have finally found a job, one that can foster my bank account to fruition unseen since my departure from Regan- lambasting from Huffington Post, and abdication from WNWN magazine. As assistant editor for iMedia connection I will finally be amongst people of amiable accord and demeanor and I thoroughly look forward to the stability that comes from a forty-hour work week.

These past months have made me recognize how truly blessed I am to have friends who love me, family who supports me and finally a man that will take the brunt of my frustration. A thank you would not suffice in expressing my gratitude to those who have truly been there for me, but my love is always with you and I hope that I can be there for you if you are ever in need.

Boyan told me this morning that he “caught” me dreaming. I had to try to remember if I had been having any late night trysts with Brad Pitt before he expressed his concern with my tightened and flexed muscles and eyes darting back and forth underneath my eye-lids. While he thought I was having a nightmare, my mind had been creating images of danger and delight, of pets and palaces that only exist in the deepest of our imaginations. It may be that my creativity is heightened by my inactivity these past two months, or maybe I have a spirit that always seeks something greater then can be attained in reality, either way it can be describe as an in satiated need to explore the inner layers of my mind through words and ideas. God guide me in the pursuit of expression as I walk down the valley of prepositions, pronouns and plot s. May I be able to elicit in words the beauty of life through it’s intricacies.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Hollywood Propaganda?

If you have yet to see Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, you should try and catch it Monday nights at 10pm on NBC. It’s a great show with some amazing actors (Matthew Perry and Amanda Peet to name just two of a very large and impressive cast) which depicts the struggles of Hollywood heavy hitters—the public's interference in their personal lives, the pressures of network sponsors as well as the social lives of celebrities and producers alike.

It's fun, well written and exciting to watch, but recently I have noticed a few things that have been making my ears perk up with curiosity.

It made me posit the question, "Is Hollywood using propaganda to regain the trust of Christian conservative right?"

I know, Hollywood and Christian Conservatives sounds like a contradiction in terms but hear me out.

The show has begun painting what used to be considered the evil liberal world of Hollywood as just a few people who, sure have made some mistakes in the past but are trying to forge ahead in the name of uncensored media.

Danny Tripp (played by Bradley Whitford) is the executive producer and recovering (recently relapsed) cocaine addict who the audience grows to love for his hard hitting approach to the show and dedication to his best friend, head writer, and all around fuck-up Matt Albie (played by Matthew Perry). Matt Albie and Danny Tripp return to the show after being forced to leave for making controversial criticisms of Bush directly after 9/11 and have returned with new fervor and an interminable desire to make the show better and uncensored in political topics (the show is, by the way, modeled after SNL).

The newly appointed President of the network, Jordan McDeere (Amanda Peet) after entering the show as the bad-ass bitch who bossed around the Network Execs and fostered the growth of the new Studio 60 was in our most recent episode brought back down to reality after an expunged DUI comes back to bite her and is plastered all over the news.

So where is the propaganda? Examine the evidence:

1. A bit called "Crazy Christians" is taken out of the line-up when network execs forcibly pull it, which is the catalyst for the previous executive producer of the show to blow-up on screen resulting in his being fired and Matt and Danny being hired.

2. The same bit is preformed on their homecoming episode despite conflict with the network and their sponsors. What happens? They get great ratings.

3. The two main characters both struggle with substance abuse problems, but we are supposed to put that aside and love them because they have such great personalities (sound familiar?).

4. The News sketch decide to drop a bit which criticizes a high school in a rural town after they pull their performance of Grease (it's too sexual) and decide not to perform the Crucible (it casts Christians in a bad light) because the small town of 4000 people are "Just trying to raise their kids," and "50% of the town works in a bakery which makes bread." Salt of the earth people, and "Why are we making fun of them" etc. bla bla bla.

5. One of the main actresses Harriet Hayes (Sarah Paulson) is criticized for being a born again Christian, and they play on the idea of her spiritual superiority. For example, they are having electricity problems from some sort of natural disaster and they have no idea how to fix the wires which seem to be severed from the power source. So:
Lights are off, "It's just that God loves me and hates you guys,"
"Oh yea prove it,"
Lights go on.

Funny yes, but what are they trying to say?

Inevitably they pull the Christian joke and replace it with a bit about silencers on guns in Minnesota and a bear's reaction to the new law. And yes, it's stupid.

Is Aaron Sorkin trying to say, "Hey, we Hollywood types aren't bad guys, yea we may have made mistakes in the past, yes maybe we poke fun at the president and Christians, but we know when we are wrong and we know when not to go too far."

I'm not quite sure, but it's weird, It freaks me out, and I guess I'm just going to have to tune in to see why this show chooses to be so borderline on issues of religion with the cast and with the jokes they air on "Studio 60."

I love my Bebentze

For all of you who didn't know or hadn't figured it out by noticing the "slight" accent of my fiancee Boyan, yes I am marrying a foreigner.

Within the past week I have commenced my study of Bulgarian, a language as complex and beautiful as a spider web with a alphabet complicated enough to make even the cunning linguist wince with anticipated difficulty. Reading, writing and pronoucing the cyrillic alphabet has proven difficult for me, I even have a big poster board with the alphabet written out in the style of a first grade classroom. But I am truly excited with the idea of being able to speak to my future mother-in-law, even more excited to be able to curse with Boyan in public places.

Never-the-less, I love my fiancee, he is remarkable and so wonderful to me and I thought I should share this with everyone. Yesterday he gave me my birthday present (he says he goes by the orthodox calendar which I know to be not true, but cute anyways) and he got me the wallet I've been drooling over at flax for some time.

Its a long, white leather wallet pressed with alligator imprints and inlayed with pastel, floral asian accents. Truly beautiful.

I am so excited to have him in my life and can't wait to experience all the exciting things to come.

Thank you Boyan. Obichum Te.

He's also incredibly handsome and anyone who has met him can speak of his wonderful character. Aren't I blessed?

China scares me

Let me tell you why...

Besides the fact that millions of American stocks and bonds are now owned by the Chinese government, besides the fact that their population has now been estimated at 1,313,973,713 as of July 2006, and despite the fact that it is now the fastest growing economy in the world—China has insurpassible nationalistic and communist linked robotic citizens who don't seem to care how hard they work to get ahead, nor how their success benefits anyone else but their government.

I admire and fear their work ethic, their ability to work 14 hour days in the fields, sacrifice their entire lives towards a goal of olympic proportions, even their dedication to a culture which has been fostered from a civilization which is now the longest lasting in the history of the world.

Babylon fell, Rome fell, Ancient Greece is only remembered in classical tragedies, but China has remained a mystery to outsiders for centuries and only now do we seem to understand a little bit more into the personalities of the people who have built a country on the sweat of it's citizens and the spirit of their ancient culture.

If you haven't seen Discovery Atlas: China Revealed on the Discovery channel, then you are truly missing out on a beautifully done (maybe overkill on the special effects and over voiced narration, but overall well done) documentary that covers the expanse of china's land and the different groups of people—from northern mongolia, the eastern capital of Beijing, southern rice patties in PingAn and desolate western deserts—from its richest entrepreneurs to it's poorest laborers—it truly captures the heart and soul of China.

The part most frightening was when they showed thousands of boys from ages 4 to 18 practicing syncronised Kung Fu (or WuShu) training at WuShu village. What was a 2000-year-old practice developed by monks for defense and spiritual enlightenment is now used to as training for the army and police. Cut to: hundreds of chinese children in primary school singing the national anthem:

Ye who refuse to be slaves!
With our very flesh and blood,
Let us build our new Great Wall!
The peoples of China are in the most critical time,
Everybody must roar his defiance.
Arise! Arise! Arise!

Millions of hearts with one mind,
Brave the enemy's gunfire, March on!
Brave the enemy's gunfire, March on!
March on! March on! On!

Just a tad bit frightening no? Every minute 34 new chinese children are being born, which is 7 million in one year. They say that if the chinese continue to mulitply and consume natural resources that at the rate they are going we would need an entire new planet earth just to support china in 30 years. Which adds to the recent article in New Scientist which stated that if the earth's population does not curb it's consumption of natural resources and continues to over-populate the world, we will need two additional earths to support the population by 2050.

It is just astonishing to me how hard working they are, how self-less they can be and maybe that is what is scary. They have a spirit and national pride unhindered by communist control and unparalleled by any other country on earth.

It is hard to look past these things and see the beautiful side of China, because it truly is astonishing. I hope that with all their progress their ever-increasing influence on the world stage will be beneficial to western nations.

Otherwise I guess we better start learning Chinese. Ni Hao Ma.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Is it just me or...

Do American Apparel ad's look like low budget porn movies circa 1973.

The Evidence:
Exhibit One

Either that or they are channeling Fiona Apple's video for Criminal.

Note to Dov Charney:

I have much respect for your business, I shop at American Apparel often and am always satisfied with the quality of your product. I also respect your effort of using real people-the people who work for you-in your ad campaigns. I do not however appreciate walking into my neighborhood AA and seeing the pubic hair spilling out of the underwear promoted in your ads. I don't want to see your package nor do I want to look at pictures of young girls spreading their legs open. How does this sell your product may I ask? Is one expected to walk into an american apparel store or see an ad like this and think, wow I really like that crotch, I want to buy those clothes?

I find it highly unlikely. Your advertising makes your very plain products more interesting and are eye-catching, I also know that you can't have class without the ass. but please for our sakes please spare us this.

k-to the-e

Good Morning Boys and Girls

It is a beautiful Saturday morning here is Los Angeles. It’s no longer summer, but not quite yet fall. I'm enjoying a beautiful latte at my favorite neighborhood cafe, Elysee, and a very pregnant, very young woman comes in to have breakfast. She stands in front of the black board menu, dividing the different meals into three categories:

1. The food she can eat
2. The food she can not eat
3. The food she should not eat

It really got me thinking...
I also thought that when you were pregnant you could eat whatever you want. Pickles and ice cream for breakfast, a run to the thai restaurant at 3 in the morning. Anything to satisfy your cravings, anything to keep you happy.

It is not so, below are the lists of food to avoid when pregnant:

1. Raw meat- Sushi, Any undercooked beef, chicken and eggs- all must be cooked thoroughly. If they are frozen they must be completely defrosted before cooked. After they have been defrosted you can not freeze it again.

2. Soft Cheeses- No feta, blue cheese, brie, soft sandwich cheeses

3. Any fish that run a risk of containing mercury or polychlorinated biphenyls including: salmon, tuna, bass or trout. This affects both fresh-water and salt-water fish.

4. No Liver (no problem...eww)

5. No uncooked sprouts

6. Recommends no artificial sweeteners
7. Avoid lunch meat
8. As well as the already known: No alcohol, no tobacco and no caffeine.

So here are the things I would limit my diet to if I was pregnant (which I'm relax)

1. Lots and Lots of Boca Burger, mmmm....boca burgers, boca sausages, and boca chili!

2. No coffee? No way...DECAF Soy lattes mother fuckers! Boyan is making them for me so even with all this shit it will still taste decent.

3. Better'n eggs- Fake egg mix because I would die without my morning egg white
breakfast burritos!

4. BEANS. Lots and lots of mexican food and beans. I'm gonna be gassy anyways might as well make an effort towards it.

5. Rice- si si si, very good, very good.

6. Veggie Bonsai burritos from Wahoo fish taco, very nice, very nice

7. No sushi? SCREW YOU! I'm gonna have sushi-cucumber rolls and edamame!

8. No feta? now that just sucks.

9. FRENCH FRIES!!! I love french fries, they are very nearly my addiction

10. CARROT SOOOOP! I love carrot soup, and tomato soup with basil and rice. Fuck yea!

11. I'm assuming no yogurt, which means no frozen yogurt. So how about some Tofutti CUTIES!!! Tofu ice cream sandwiches. VERY NIICEEEE.

12. Indian food!!! Curry me gusta! Aloo Gobi, which is potatoes and cauliflower in a spicy yellow sauce (yea yea they say no spice i'll get it not sooo spicy). Along with that I'll be eating onion salad, naan bread, veggie saag and lentil dishes. MMm... I ruv indian food.

Geez'um. There are also a number of foods you have to avoid during pregnancy and while breastfeeding in order to avoid the on set of food allergies after birth.

Well, I thought it was pretty interesting. So ladies you better stuff your mouths with as many cheeseburgers, pizza, and as much liquor and nicotine that is possible now!
Unless you want your child to turn out deformed or disabled.
You never know...

Friday, September 22, 2006

It surprises me

That people are stilling thinking this way and would make the extra effort to post things like this on Craigslist:

Reading some of these remarks on President Bush I can clearly see the difference between Republican remarks and liberals remarks. Nearly every liberal remarks with hate and vengance and use foul language. Republicans appear to be articulate and well thought out in their responses without using hate and foul language. Why is this?

By the way, President Bush is an outstanding president and believe me, I sleep well at night him having the safety of this fine nation at the top of his agenda. I would never sleep with a liberal president as they have zero policy on how to defend this country and fight terrorism.

Here is what I posted in response in addition to emailing the writer directly:

I think many of the people who use "hate and foul language" when discussing the President are expressing their frustration and anger towards the President the only way they know how. Personally I find it incredible that you "sleep well at night" knowing the President is making strides towards safe-guarding what he believes is his "right" to use some of the most barbaric and I would say evil methods of torture—equal to, if not worse then the methods Saddam used in his own prisons—in his fight against "terrorism;" has taken what was a huge surplus in the Clinton era and created a debilitating deficit, and implemented a foreign policy which is soon to turn the entire world against us.

As a republican and a Christian I am appalled with his policies–fiscal, foreign and domestic. His disregard for the constitution and human rights speaks towards a character whose priorities are skewed beyond the means of comprehension and common sense. I'm fearful for what the next two years may bring under his presidency and how far he, Rove, Rumsfield and Cheney are willing abase the country in their pursuit to "protect the country from terrorism"

Why don't you take a look at the pictures from Abu Graib of men whose entire bodies were covered in feces and dragged around naked with dog collars? Or possible peruse wikipedia regarding water boarding and Guantanamo Bay detainees?

Maybe that will help you sleep as well.

If you want to read some well-written republican opinion, why don’t you wander over to Andrew Sullivan’s blog. Or read the letters General Vessy and General Colin Powell recently wrote to Senator McCain regarding article 3 of the Geneva Convention.

Until then, sweet dreams.


If you want to take a look at the things I mentioned above see the links below, but warning, they are not for the faint of heart:

Andrew Sullivan

Guantanamo Bay Detainees
Abu Graib
Letter from General Colin Powell to Senator McCain

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Heading ventures in: editorial, event planning, politics, art, culture, and fashion industries
Pays well with benefits
Enthusiasm for work a plus
Located in West LA
Looking to hire young professional, recent grad with great resume.

Please send your job postings through divine intervention with job offer following soon after.

I'll be waiting for your call.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Getting myself into trouble again

I have decided by means of severe self-deprecation that I have a large mouth and must censor myself from here on out in order to keep my ass out of trouble. My friends would argue that my bombastic attitude and spunk is the reason why I have endeared myself to them but alas if I am to get anywhere in the business world, for now, I must attempt to proceed with increased decorum and tact.

Unfortunately for me I have suffered for my severity, but no more I say, NO MORE! My friends a new and reformed me is on the way. I will smile when my large work load gets shoved up my ass to make room for more and respond with a smile and "Thank you ma'am may I have another? And can I get you tea while I am at it?"

It is decidedly so.

But do not fret my blogs will be just as explosive as will my foul mouthed tirades continue when I leave the professional atmosphere.

As of 8:30 a.m. (PST) I will be turning in my last college paper. The grand finale of 4.5 years of UCLA education propelling me into a world of the unknown. No more late night Denny's or all nighters in the name of educational enlightenment. The only writing I will be doing will encompass work and recreation. Hopefully I will have the time to do the things I've wanted to do such as go to the gym and write for myself.

As of 8:30 a.m. my Post- baccalaureate life begins. Wish me well, well-wishers. Ciao UCLA.

Friday, August 11, 2006

The Update on PH

So below are the pictures he posted about the party. Of which he reported one line:

"We went to a book launch for the lovely Dita Von Teese and the 10th anniversary party for BPM magazine, finally ending up at the birthday celebration of this lovely fellow named Eugenio."

Which really blows in the world of publicity. You would have hoped he had written a little bit more about the party/book but oh well. Too busy blogging about himself again. By the way he has resorted to using the royal "we" on himself. Told you he was a big queen.

The offenders

The Offenders with the Lovely Dita

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Utterly Disapointed

There is one thing that pisses me off more then any other thing in the world. And that one thing is people who take themselves too seriously.

Now for those of you who know me, you know that I absolutely love(d) Perez Hilton

Joanish and I made an appearance at Tacshen for Dita Von Teese's book party and after I had gone out of my way to make sure Perez would be there through the help of my friend in the publicity department, and after much drama regarding his "+1" Mr. PH walked into the party and acted like a big gay ass.

Dialogue between me and PH

Me: Hi Perez, I'm Krisserin (shake hands)
PH: (with flamboyant pitch and near-lisp) Oh, Hi.
Me: I'm really glad you're here, when I heard we were having a party for Dita Von Teese I asked Kristy why you weren't invited because I know how much you love her
PH: Yea well I didnt know it was a book party, (looking around in disgust) its kinda weird, and formal...
Me: I'm a really fan of yours...
PH: Thanks (and exeunt by turning his back on me to look at...the wall 5 feet away from him)

Me: le sad

First of all, I emailed him to tell him I was excited for him to be there and he replied so I figured going up to him and introducing myself would be normal. I was spouting my mouth off to the office with how excited I was bla bla bla. Basically I felt like an idiot.

I'm really disapointed. I wanted him to be funny, I wanted him to be nice, basically I wanted him to be my big fluffy gay panda. Oh well. And he came to the party with Jenna Jameson who couldn't have looked more out of place in a book shop.

So, unfortunately I am beginning my boycott of Perez effective immediately. For someone who bashes celebrities I expected more.

A message for Perez,

You are not a celebrity. You wealth depends on people reading what you have to say about celebrities. Being a celebrity-hanger-on is not cool.

Boo to you.

So the Queen of all Media turned out to just be a big Queen, and so I'm giving him the royal treatment.

p.s. Perez, if you are going to write all over your pictures in Microsoft Paint get a tablet PC for goodness sake.

K to the E

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

College Candy

My article on bicuriousity got published today on CollegeCandy! Take a look:

You've seen them out: The sex-pots wearing short skirts and killer heels, never failing to entertain the men in the crowd with some girl-on-girl action.

Guys cheer them on. Girls look away in disgust.

One might consider such behavior a bit distasteful, no?

But according to Lauren Levin and Lauren Blitzer in their new book, Same Sex in the City, those seemingly attention-hungry girls may be on to something. Levin and Blitzer call their work a "coming out guide" of sorts for lesbian, bisexual and bi-curious women everywhere.

You've heard the myths of women who experiment with their sexuality in college. Maybe you think it's taboo. Maybe you wonder what it would be like to kiss a girl. Or maybe you're just afraid of being branded with a scarlet "L" by your peers. Well, newsflash ladies: New statistics show that there has been a 10-percent increase in college women experimenting with their sexuality over the last 10 years. Whether it be that drunken kiss at the bar or more, women are becoming more curious ... bi-curious, that is.

So ... if it's true that, as Levin and Blitzer put it, "the difference between a straight girl and a gay girl is 4 beers," get out there and see what all the fuss is about.

Or if you want to see it for yourself you can go to:

Friday, July 21, 2006

Because I am a Total Narcissist

I had to write a bio for myself for, and I have to admit I was having problems talking about myself in 3rd person. But after much trial, I prevailed and thought I would share for kicks:

Krisserin Canary has survived four years at UCLA, numerous sorority date-parties, a slew of bad boyfriends, and multiple internships—only to come out kicking with a great job and gorgeous fiancée to boot. When she’s not spouting out advice she enjoys belting out Broadway hits while sitting in traffic, sipping lattes outside Elysee cafe and reading Jane Austen novels whilst fantasizing about the English countryside.


Thursday, July 06, 2006

What an awful day

Sometimes to escape the day I feel the need to pull my down comforter over my head and slip into dreamland. Which would normally be filled with all sorts of beautiful adventures, but a trip back to Oz last night with Taleen, Ivan and Boyan via Fairuza Balk left me with the same nightmares I had back when I was eight. That movie must be the most frightening child's movie ever created. So creepy.

The bad day was brought on yesterday when I had an awful day at work, accompanied by the fact that I had to walk the dog from hell. I had an enjoyable evening only to be awoken this morning to find out a very important package I had dropped off for my job yesterday was UPS rather then USPS. So I fucked up royally. Bah.

I proceeded to sleep through all my classes but woke up remembering I have to go and walk the dog from hell again.

And my face looks awful.

Bah. My eye hurts and I want a chocolate crossiant.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Another celeb sighting

I never thought I'd say this but thank God for the L.A. Film festival. I saw Mr. Walken taking a stroll down Kinross avenue yesterday. He looked old and weathered but I was happy I got the chance to see him anyways.

-This watch. This watch was on your Daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured and put in a Vietnamese prison camp. Now he knew if the gooks ever saw the watch it'd be confiscated. The way your Daddy looked at it, that watch was your birthright. And he'd be damned if any slopeheads were gonna put their greasy yella hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hid something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

Thank you Christopher Walken. Thank you.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Guess who walked into the office...3

Lisa Rinna, of Law & Order and Dancing with the Stars fame. She doesn't look quite so plastic in person.


This is a shout out for my fav. So you think you can Dance, Dancer Ben. He was voted off last night (because Nigel has a huge boner for dimitry... yuck. quite frankly I think he's an awful dancer, but thats my opinion. and anyone else who has a brain).

This is in memorium for Ben Susak in all his flaming glory. The show won't be the same without you.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Devil and my new Boss

Yesterday the mood in the office was that of hurried anxiety. Boxes full of books were lifted and re-organized, everything made to be perfectly asthetic with the arrival of the famed women whose office I began working in this week.

Little did I know when I stepped into my new job, an imprint of Harper Collins what I was getting myself into.

The woman who Vanity Fair has called a "foul mouthed tyrant," will be making her first appearance in the office today, and pre-empting her arrival people have already warning me that I will be cursed at and things could be hurled at me in a moment of rage.

So I found myself becoming scared. Scared of a woman who weilded enough power and authority that publications all around the world have blasted her for her outrageousness and drive.

Then I thought, shame on me.

If I go into that office on friday scared of my new boss, afraid of a little cursing and yelling then I have already let her win. Shame on me for thinking less of a woman who people label a bitch and a tyrant. The women quotes Patton and proclaims herself a warrior. She uses everything and anything she can to be successful. Sure she may go too far, but the media goes to far and I shouldn't judge her based on what other people say before I meet her.

I can learn a lot from this women. What works, what can be improved.

I plan to come to work early, stay late, work my ass of and gain some respect from my peers.

A former writer and lover of hers said:
"She is brash, very assertive, extremely demanding, and talks like a man…. But you know what? Sometimes it takes a person like that to get things done."

Sounds a little bit like someone I know. We'll see how this works out.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Guess who walked into the office...

Again I am surprised with a celebrity sighting.

Aint that a blast from the past.
No hand shake this time, oh wells. Fun none the less.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Political Violence

I was really excited to take this class, hoping I would be learning about violence in regards to protests, and south american terrorism- come to find out the focus of the class will be on terrorism experienced by America.


You know a class is going to be bad when:

1. "There will also be an in-class simulation of a terrorist incident in
which students will play the roles of terrorists, victims, media, and government officials. This will allow students to experience some of the dilemmas that arise for the major participants during a terrorism crisis."

2. Term paper is worth 40% and Final worth 60%

3. "Outside scholarly sources [for the term paper] are NOT Internet or Worldwide Web (WWW) sources"
(seriously who has ever heard of such a thing, no wiki? are you kidding?)

3. There is one required text, and of course, it is written by the Professor.

Why do Poli Sci profs have to be so lame?

The only upside I can see is that his book got good reviews on
Well, here's hoping.

Sunday, June 25, 2006


Well it has been a crazy past two weeks indeed. Interesting things that have happened to me recently are:

1. Got a call from Harper Collins publishing for a job interview at 7:00 a.m. the day of my last final
2. Found out Grandpa was in the Hospital and had to go visit him
3. Finished my internship at LOGO- MTV
4. Walked at the English Departmental Graduation on sunday
5. Interviewed at Harper Collins' Regan Media imprint and got the job (paid internship in flipping awesome office with opportunity for full time job afterwards YAY!)
6. Walked Kjos, a dog that I get paid to walk and got attacked by a dog behind a fence
7. Helped Taleen get Music Editor position at SnMAG, come to find out the new SnMAG offices are in the same building as my new job, just 6 floors down.
8. Spent all day yesterday in a photo shoot for graduation portraits
9. Almost got classes dropped from Late Financial aid payment, had to beg to have them put on hold
10. Lost TiVO remote and life has been in chaos since

And this week so far I have:
1. Start work on Monday at Harper Collins 8:30-5
2. Have to walk Kjos on Monday 5:30-6:30
3. Alexandra's birthday party on Monday 7:00- who knows
4. Start Classes on tuesday
5. Have to figure out loan paper work
6. Cash in my massage gift certificate sometime soon
7. Send announcements (late I know) and print out photos Taleen took

It's a pretty crazy life people.

Anyways, I spent all of yesterday from wake to sleep with Taleen, galavanting around town taking photos which turned out great and will be posted at my earliest convience, and will probably be seen on facebook/myspace much sooner. =)

Tip of the day:
If you have time, head down to Jinky's cafe, locations in Sherman Oaks, WeHo on the sunset trip and 2nd street in Santa Monica. It is open from 7:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. They serve mostly breakfast but have the most amazing green tea you can imagine, and the prices are affordable. Just don't get the lousiana sausage. It tastes like hot dog.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Dog Sitting- Day Two

Many of you, my imaginary audience may not know this, but as of yesterday I begun house sitting/dog sitting for a family in Brentwood. They have a nice big house with all the amenities (read: I did four loads of laundry yesterday...don't gasp they said I could) and two lovely animals.

Charlie is their Beagle mix. I like to call him Charlie Buttons. I'm not quite sure how old he is, but he can't be that old considering the runs around like a crazy person on amphetamines. He's a sweet guy really. He insists that he sleeps in the bed with me and woke me up bright and early at 7am this morning for his walk. I was forewarned that he was an early riser so I wasn't that upset. Other than that he spends his days obsessing about his tennis ball and licking himself to his own delight. But I swear the dog knows I’m here for him. It’s almost like he is demanding my attention all the time. “Look lady, my owners are paying good money for you to play with me so get your eyes off the T.V. and throw me the ball. Throw me the ball, Throw me the BALL, THROW ME THE BALL!” It translates into something like that. My dog speak is a little rusty.

Pootie is their ancient cat. The damn thing is 15 years old. It's so old that when it meows nothing comes out of its mouth.

My daily duties include watering the plants (all of which are near death), getting their mail, walking and feeding the dog twice a day and enjoying their house watching their house.

I also don’t think you know that I’ve been really sick. Not sick as in, “oh my god I feel like crap there is no possible way I could walk to class. I’ll just have to lie on the couch and watch T.V. all day.” Not that kind of sick, but sick as in, “My head won’t stop pounding, my neck is stiff as fuck, my whole body hurts, my throat is sore, my glands are swollen and I’m coughing up red-ish green-ish mucus, I think I may go to the emergency care.”

Today was the first day I woke up not feeling like death. So I’m a little better off. As you can imagine however, trying to function/entertain a dog in that kind of condition was not fun.

Other than that there is that whole other issue of graduation and stuff, which seems more like impending doom then a celebration of academic achievements. I’m just stoked I'm gonna get some good gifts from my grandparents (they gave me a nice little check at high school graduation. I’m just thrilled to think what I’m gonna get for college graduation. Also consider: I’m graduating ahead [or maybe the same time?] as my older cousin who took the 6 year route, so suffice it to say I’m the star of the family. Scary I know).

I’m excited for a little bonus this summer. I think I deserve it after my slacker stellar performance as college student.

But this whole idea of having to deal with summer classes, ordering cap and gowns, pictures and the lot is making my head spin. I’m just glad I’ll be making some money cause I’m butt poor people.

The people I’m sitting for have their desk set up in front of a window that overlooks their back yard. Their office has perfect light and is awe-inspiring. So hopefully I’ll be feeling better this next week and will be able to get some extra-curricular writing done. Here’s hoping!

Anyways there will be more updates to come so keep checking. Thanks for reading. TTFN!

Friday, June 02, 2006

You'll never believe!


Nick Verreos from Project Runway!!!! If you know me you know I am a huge project runway geek, so this was a special treat for me.

ahh...A Day in the fabulous life of me.

Ok not so much. But still cool none-the-less.

There comes a time...

In every college student's academic life where you just give up. Your brain feels like goop, your body is beaten and fatigued, dragging yourself to class seems impossible and an attempts at exercising your creative muscles makes you want to crawl into a ball and cry.

That time usually comes around 9th week of spring quarter. Which just by coincidence, is now. Imagine that.

As I peruse my usual online haunts and visit friends’ myspace/blog/livejournal(s) I notice darker music, disparaging rants and general burn out all over.

What is it about the end of spring quarter that makes the student body want to commit academic suicide? It may be the fact that finals are two weeks away, or that after 30 weeks of class the brain can't absorb any more useless information. Or maybe it’s the fact that summer is taunting us with its promise of warm beaches and cool beers.

For me its the thought that I'm at the home stretch. Last real quarter of my college career. It's time to start looking for work, looking for a job that will fulfill my dreams and aspirations as well as fill my bank account.

I remember seeing a picture of myself wearing a class of 2006 shirt when I was six years old. It's crazy to think that I'm graduating (I haven't even bought a cap and gown yet, I'm so lazy), but its so anti-climactic knowing that I'm going to be submitting myself to summer school hell just a week after I turn my tassel.

I need a job but can't look for anything full time. I need a vacation but have neither time nor funds to take one. I need to write but am totally uninspired by anything I have been working on.

I think many of us (especially those who are graduating) are finding themselves at this crossroad. It's time to grow up and move on but our college days are still pulling us down. One more class, one more book, one more dollar.

I envy my friends who are doing what I swore I would do after graduation which is moving to New York. I'll be here in LA, taking the last few classes I'm required to take to receive my degree. This truly is the summer of limbo. I'll be at the last end of my college career and the beginning of my true career but not really being completely emerged or able to fully dedicate myself to either.

Many have asked me what I'll be doing after school is all over. I wish I knew.

Monday, April 10, 2006

My new favorite person!

For the day that is.

I love celeb trash talkin' as much as the next person, and no one can spit the shit better then my man Perez Hilton.

Perez, I salute you.

Joanish Sex Monster

Congratulations to my bestest bud Joan on her new sexy cut

Rock it like only you know how darling

What the wtf?

What IS she growing in there? Does this scare anybody else as much as it scares me?

joanish: tom cruise has alien sperm cuz he's from outerspace
joanish: poor katie has been brainwashed, and her body has been used as a vehicle to secretly exponentiate the alien population

I knew it.

Monday, April 03, 2006

A New Beginning

Welcome back to stress filled days of work and class. My sojourn to Sequoia never happened. I had a feeling like I wouldn't make it there but a girl has to dream. The rain and snow prevented any hope for outdoor excursions and I ended up spending my days enjoying newport beach. It was great to have nothing to do but sleep and read and go to the gym, and now I begin my last quarter at UCLA. I am going to be walking at graduation in June and every step I have taken the past four years has brought me to this conclusion, a Bachelors of Arts in English from UCLA. I didn't do great last quarter, I didnt really go to class all that often so only I can be to blame. I'm excited to be starting a new quarter fresh, with a new and exciting job at MTV doing work that I like to do and exercising my creative muscles. More to discuss later.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Picturesque Landscapes and Marshmallow Sandwiches

Just think, in only a few days I'll be here...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Excuse me, Princess Pup and I demand your attention

What an exciting day. I woke up at 6am to the most magnificent weather. The sun was out and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, it might have been 7:30 in the morning but I practically skipped to my final.

Thats right, Dorothy and toto we're off to see the wizard skipped.

I finished early as per usual (for some reason at my new job everything is "per" something, as "per request," as "per the conversation this morning," as ... well you get the idea. perrrrrr) and decided to go home and pull my bed head fiancee out of the apartment and to the beach.

Shame on me for not chronically the days events as per photos (i'm getting good at it huh? perrr) but the day was so beautiful I don't think photos would do it justice. We went down to the beach, got there at 11:30 stayed for an hour and a half then went to the farmers market (the last they will be having in westwood), and ate yummy tamales and fresh squeezed lemonade. Boyan added yet another bottle of Olive Oil to his growing collection (he has 3 now, plus one I bought for cooking) and we came home to enjoy the rest of the day before he had to go to work at 4pm.

I fell asleep on the beach and got to soak up the sun a little bit. It was nice considering I hadn't been in a bathing suit since last spring break (maybe I'll be darker then the tanorexic girls at wooden, yay!). There were two separate filmings going on, and what seemed to be a dead hobo (he didn't move the entire time we were at the beach, hopefully he was just really really tired). Gotta love LA beaches. I'm just glad I made it home without a hiv-ridden hypodermic needle.

Either way I took a nap at 5ish after watching gilmore girls and lost (g-b-tivo), and woke up feeling like a train hit me. Why is it that sometimes I wake up from naps feeling really hungover? Craziness.

I had a really great day, but what does make the corners of my mouth turn down is the fact that it seems like very few people have made their way over to my little corner of cyber space to read my posts. Its not going over as well as xanga, livejournal and the like had before. I'll just have to traffic some friends over, maybe they'll subscribe to reading my daily rantings. And hopefully comment (I want comments, wah).

Until then I must settle my stomach with something non-meat. Still have quite a bit to go before lent is over, and I needs me some protein. 15 hours till freedom my friends, all I have to say is open book open note final oh yea, spring break I'm on my way.

Until then, enjoy this cute puppy, courtesy of cute overload.

I can't help it, shes just too much. Oh, Princess Pup.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

It wasn't me, I was dead at the time

Bush still stands behind the war in Iraq, now stating that it would be up to his successor to bring the troops home. When Helen Thomas, a reporter who has covered every President since President Kennedy, stated that every reason given for the war in Iraq so far has been a lie and wanted to know the true reason for us being there, Bush shushed her and told her that "No President wants to go to war." This after not calling on her for the past 3 years.

Most journalists claim that bush "passionately" defended the war. The problem is I can't watch Bush during a press conference and not see a Dog, backed into a corner teeth showing, yelping and growling because he's scared out of his wits. He's completely on the Defense, he doesn't seem passionate to me he seems petrified.

The morale of Bush's cabinet is said to be low, his job approval is a mere 37.6%, we have a deficit beyond deficits and soon China will own half of our country through war bonds.

When Fox News announces that approval ratings are 39% you know something is wrong.

Not that the Democrats have done anything about it. A Republican congress along with a Republican President might be enough to scare the shit out of some politians, I just wish some of them would get their tales out of between there legs and do something productive. Clinton almost gets impeached for lying about having sex with Monica Lewinski and Bush lies about Iraq having Weapons of Mass Destruction and we do nothing? Oh wait, we do do something we re-elect him for a second term! And to think our economy was in a Surplus under Clinton's administration.

Watching Bush speak to the press is like watching a Kid trying to tell his parents he didn't do it and now he wants to tell us to be patient. What he's telling us is he put our boys in Iraq without an exit strategy. He says "It will be decided by future presidents and future governments of Iraq."

I like what my George W. said best, (my stepdad if you didn't know)
"Why do the Bush's alway leave it for the Clinton's to clean up?"

It just got worse

If it wasn't bad enough with the Leaf Blowers on Monday
On Wednesdays they like to drag the garbage cans to the street for disposal
Then after the garbage truck comes to pick them up
They leave them there, so I get to move them before I go to work
I hope I don't smell of trash

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Leaf Blowers, Lawn Mowers and Ice Cream Cones

Sometimes you wake in peace
Sometimes you are jolted from
sleep by sound or movement
Sound is the worst.

The whirling and chopping,
clearing the leaves and
trimming the grass
Calculated Nature

The Mexicans rise at 6am to cut my leaves
and all I can do is curse the hour
Its just on Mondays, disturbed on Mondays.
But not today, today I wanted sleep.

The scene playing out ICE CREAM
flavors like teeth and grass and 19.99
Whats that supposed to mean?
Not quite enough for 20?

White dresses Persian store owners
Satin shoes in white and blue
Not baby blue not that dull tone
But Royal blue isn't it striking?
Like Hilary Clinton she says.

Lay in bed hoping the whirling and cutting
And Blowing and Mariachi bands will leave
You in peace. But coffee calls.
To be woken up by drips and dribbles
Warm sensations Caffeine temptations.
Time to get up, 19.99.

Monday, March 20, 2006

An Introduction

It is time for calculated abandon.

LiveJournal and Xanga have served their purpose but recent inflitration by google outsiders has hastened the time for change and the much anticipated creation of a Blog.

Here I will post my scribbles, my rants and daily mishaps.

Petals in the Dirt.