Friday, June 02, 2006

There comes a time...

In every college student's academic life where you just give up. Your brain feels like goop, your body is beaten and fatigued, dragging yourself to class seems impossible and an attempts at exercising your creative muscles makes you want to crawl into a ball and cry.

That time usually comes around 9th week of spring quarter. Which just by coincidence, is now. Imagine that.

As I peruse my usual online haunts and visit friends’ myspace/blog/livejournal(s) I notice darker music, disparaging rants and general burn out all over.

What is it about the end of spring quarter that makes the student body want to commit academic suicide? It may be the fact that finals are two weeks away, or that after 30 weeks of class the brain can't absorb any more useless information. Or maybe it’s the fact that summer is taunting us with its promise of warm beaches and cool beers.

For me its the thought that I'm at the home stretch. Last real quarter of my college career. It's time to start looking for work, looking for a job that will fulfill my dreams and aspirations as well as fill my bank account.

I remember seeing a picture of myself wearing a class of 2006 shirt when I was six years old. It's crazy to think that I'm graduating (I haven't even bought a cap and gown yet, I'm so lazy), but its so anti-climactic knowing that I'm going to be submitting myself to summer school hell just a week after I turn my tassel.

I need a job but can't look for anything full time. I need a vacation but have neither time nor funds to take one. I need to write but am totally uninspired by anything I have been working on.

I think many of us (especially those who are graduating) are finding themselves at this crossroad. It's time to grow up and move on but our college days are still pulling us down. One more class, one more book, one more dollar.

I envy my friends who are doing what I swore I would do after graduation which is moving to New York. I'll be here in LA, taking the last few classes I'm required to take to receive my degree. This truly is the summer of limbo. I'll be at the last end of my college career and the beginning of my true career but not really being completely emerged or able to fully dedicate myself to either.

Many have asked me what I'll be doing after school is all over. I wish I knew.

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