Before I go onto the point of this post, I have to say that Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is the best children's movie ever.
Anyways, I find myself everyday, all the time, always WANTING things. Just a few examples of things I want.
Boyan wants me to drive the scooter to work and I do too, but I really want to be able to ride a bike on nice days. We struck a deal, if he buys me a bike (of my choosing, I want a commuter/hybrid. Something that I could get some exercise on) I will give up my gym membership for a year.
I want a bug convertible.
I saw this beautiful Murano glass chandelier at a lighting store in SM (this isn't the one I saw, just an example). The shop keeper told me, "You have good taste, that's an antique Murano chandelier. It's on sale for $999.99!"
I am OUT of moisturizer. This is more of a need than a want but at $50 a bottle it's a luxury I can't afford right now.
$30 for eyeliner? Ouch.
Why are rugs so expensive? This one starts at $348.
Pillows for our new bed/couch
Queen size bed and padded headboard
Computer Sleeve for my laptop
I hate these things, but the headset that came with my phone is dying.
Keds. Don't ask me why, it's embarrassing.
I could go on but I won't. Some of these things are necessities, others luxuries, but I was thinking about it yesterday and no matter how happy I am, how content I am with life I'm always WANTING more. I don't need for anything, so why does my mind always turn to things that I don't have instead of appreciating those I do?
It really pisses me off, I hate the idea of being controlled by material desires. I don't want my mind to be constantly absorbed with consuming. So, here is what I'm going to do.
Starting May 1st I'm going to stop spending money on unnecessary purchases. Which means, no buying lunch out, no buying clothes or makeup or books. I will only spend money on the bare necessities. That's it. My hope is that by restricting my spending, I'll stop my mind from constantly being wrapped up in wanting things I don't need. And of course I'll save money.
I'll keep y'all updated on how it goes. I'm sure its going to be hard. There are some books that I want to buy in May (okay one book, maybe i'll pre-order it =P), and no extraneous spending means no happy hour, no buying cigarettes, nothing. I just hope it won't mean no fun.
In one month my goal is to go from Veruca Salt to Baloo the Bear. Baloo seems much happier anyways right? Wish me luck.
"And don't spend your time lookin' around For something you want that can't be found When you find out you can live without it And go along not thinkin' about it I'll tell you something true
I have this rule, that when I'm working on a story I'm not allowed to read a book. I believe there is a time for reading, and a time for writing, and that the mixing of the two can be disastrous. I don't want what I'm working on to be affected by what I'm reading, and usually the distraction of getting caught up in a book makes it near impossible for me to get back to work.
WELL. After discovering that I need to write double what I already have written to finish my book (I will pull ten more chapters out of the ether so help me), the overwhelming thought of having to add more to a story I feel I have completed has stunted my progress. I know where I need to go in and add more but I feel like I need time, like a full 12 hour day to accomplish that, and as we have discussed previously, I don't have that time right now. So instead of chipping away at the small revisions I can do, I picked up a new book and lost myself in it.
I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith (she's known for writing 101 Dalmatians, I Capture the Castle was also made into a movie but isn't as popular) was truly enthralling. Her descriptions, her narrative voice and her refusal to acquiesce to what the reader would want was spectacular. I love a book that doesn't give into a predictable plot line. You root for these eccentric characters, and you feel their misfortunes. I loved it, it was brilliant and I would recommend it wholeheartedly.
Now that I've finished that, I'm determined to do what little revisions I can until I can sit down for an extended period of time to write the new chapters. The problem with adding more content is that I haven't imagined more. I have to let my creative juices flow so I can manifest something completely new and unplanned, which is much more difficult than writing something that, in my mind, I've already mapped out.
I printed it out what I already have, (all 157 pages of it) and I'm going to go through and do more edits the old school way. Wish me luck.
I don't think you even need to ask if I'm going to see this movie, but if you were wondering, of course I am. I actually think it looks funny, and I love dark comedies (especially British ones).
I don't generally write about myself here. I don't know if it's because I think it's vain to blog about oneself, or because I feel uncomfortable, whatever the reason I haven't talked about anything really personal in quite a long time. So here is a mini-update of what's going on in my life.
Boyan and I had a busy weekend. On Saturday we went to my nephew Jacob's 5th birthday party at my soon-to-be Sister-in-law's house in Glendora. We played with musical instruments, ate cake, and watched him tear it up on his new Tony Hawk bike. I think the greatest part about having kids is that you get to relive the excitement of being a kid all over again. I can't wait until I get my chance.
The birthday boys
After we had lunch we drove over to the Golden Spur and had dinner for my Uncle Richard's birthday. I had bacon-wrapped filet mignon and a baked potato. That was after eating tons of food at my Nephew's house, and my stomach has been kind of a wreck ever since.
On Sunday, Boyan and I filled my car and his co-worker Jordan's truck to the hilt, and dropped the first batch of boxes off at our new apartment. It's weird to think that we are going to be moving again. I remember the feeling of loss I had when we left our apartment on Kelton. Thinking that I would never walk into those rooms again, or see the bright green walls I'd grown to love. I have fond memories of that apartment, and even if they are tainted by the nostalgia I'll always love that apartment because it was our first apartment together.
605 Kelton
When we moved to West Covina I knew we were leaving a lot behind, friends, and you know, civilization. We were jumping right into the deep end of a murky pool. Sure the money that my new job was offering made the move worth it, but after spending nine months at Newegg, and being rescued by my new job at Demand, I can't help but think that we jumped to quickly to move away from our life in Westwood.
West Covina
Now that we're coming back to West L.A. I have those same feelings of loss, although our new apartment won't be as much of a shock. I really like the new place, and when I walk in (even though there are boxes piled from floor to ceiling), I can already imagine myself having coffee on the patio in the mornings, coming home for lunch in the afternoons, sitting and reading a book in our light yellow living room. I feel bad for poor Boyan who will now have to endure the commute I suffered through for the past nine months, and only hope that the winds of fate will change and he won't have to make his way east for long.
I can't say I'll miss the apartment in West Covina as much as our apartment in Westwood. I have a lot of memories in West Covina, but they are all from my childhood and in a different part of the city. I feel like our part of town is too industrial, too cold and too unfriendly for us to develop any nostalgia. I can't speak for Boyan, but I know that a big part of me can't wait to say goodbye to West Covina forever. But in the back of my mind, in the pit of my stomach, is the fear and anxiety that comes with change.
We should be completely moved in by April 25th, Boyan will probably stay behind for the last week of April as we had to pay our rent up until May 3rd. We'll re-paint the walls white with primer and clean the carpets in order to get as much of our deposit back as possible. But before that is Boyan's birthday as well as my brother Pat. They happen to have been born on the same day three years apart. I don't know what we'll do for that besides dinner with the family, but for those of you who are interested (and invited of course) we will probably have a Birthday/Housewarming party in May.
I have not had too much time to write with all this moving and packing tumult. It's frustrating not being able to devote my time to something I feel I so desperately need to do. It almost feels like I'm neglecting a crying baby; I want to hold it and comfort it, but I'm tied down by necessities of life. I hate it. I'm just going to have to sneak in time here and there. I know once we move I'll have a lot of time alone to write, as I'll be waiting for Boyan to come home from work; I just need to suck it up until then. I'm a third of the way through my first revision, and I'm finding a lot of places in the story where I need to add back story and even a couple more chapters. I think I've said this before but I want to say it again. Writing is the hardest thing I've ever done, and the most rewarding. Even if the things I write don't get published there is something to be said about creating something. Building something from the floor up that stands on it's own with you as the progenitor. It's an amazing feeling.
I see myself spending a lot of time at the library working on my book. I'm hoping that I'll get accepted to Bennington, or get the Tinhouse seminar scholarship (both would be amazing), so that I could have some help work shopping the book. Right now it feels like everything is floating around in my head and I need to get it all organized in a way that makes sense. I can honestly say I'll probably revise this book at least six times if not more. I want to get it done done by the end of the year so I can start looking for an agent. It might be hard as Boyan's sister Natalia is coming to live with us for three months, but I'll just have to make time. I'm hoping to buy a bike pretty soon, so if I need some alone time I can just hop on and ride down to the library or to Cacao which is just up the street from our new place.
I keep having these dreams that I open our mailbox to find the large Bennington folder. I've dreamt about it so much that when I do open our mailbox, I swear I hallucinate that the big thick white envelop is actually there. It's insane. I hate waiting to hear back, it's torture. I had a crazy dream last night that I got caught up in a tornado, and when the tornado hit me I floated and was weightless. I woke up a second after the tornado hit me in my dream, and I swear I woke up feeling like I was floating.
I looked up the meaning of tornadoes in dreams, and it says that it's a "loss of control dream." I sat there hoping the tornado would skip past me, helpless and when it came there was nothing I could do. In a world where everything is crazy and tumultuous, my writing is something I can control. It's something I actively do to better myself. I wonder if my inability to write because of our move has made me subconsciously feel out of control. Or if it's because I'm waiting to hear back from Bennington. I guess it's something to think about.
So, that's my update. A lot going on right now, a lot of unknown variables but that's okay. That's what life is all about right? If we knew what was going to happen it wouldn't be so exciting.
I thought April Fool's Day was over. No, seriously when I saw this posted on Jezebel I thought it was a joke but sure as shit Kal Penn is "leaving House to work at the White House."
I was incredibly honored a couple of months ago to get the opportunity to go work in the White House. I got to know the President and some of the staff during the campaign and had expressed interest in working there, so I'm going to be the associate director in the White House office of public liaison. They do outreach with the American public and with different organizations. They're basically the front door of the White House. They take out all of the red tape that falls between the general public and the White House. It's similar to what I was doing on the campaign.
I've been thinking about [moving into politics] for a while. I love what I do as an actor. I couldn't love it more. But probably from the time I was a kid, I really enjoyed that balance between the arts and public service. I went to a performing arts high school, but I still took a bunch of those dorky political science classes. It's probably because of the value system my grandparents instilled in me. They marched with Gandhi in the Indian independence movement, and that was always in the back of my head. So the past couple of years I thought about it a little m...ore. And in '06 I started this international studies program at Stanford, where they actually let you do most of the course work online. So it was something I could do while I was acting. And I thought this might be the right time to go off and do something else.
So there you have it. You can read the full account at the Huffington Post. Say goodbye to Kal Penn, Dr. Kutner and hello to Kal Penn Associate Director in the White House Office of whatever the f*ck. I'm sure you'll do a great job in the Obama Administration, but you will be missed at Princeton-Plainsboro.
I have written many books. Many half-books that is.
This weekend I picked up one of my many half-books and starting writing again. And it just starting coming out like a torrent, the book is writing itself.
Last night I went to Elysee and pumped out another ten pages totaling 52 pages written since Saturday and 101 pages all together.
When I first starting writing, 100 pages seemed like some far off milestone that with each twist and turn of the road never seemed to get any closer. But now that it's here I can see the next 50 is seems close and...achievable. I want to finish this thing. I'm ready.
Boyan and I went to the movies and saw "I Love You Man" last night. Before we left for the theater we did the normal check: wallet, keys, cellphones and Student I.D.s.
So, we were shocked when we went to AMC to learn that Student discounts are now only given on Thursdays. THURSDAYS. Can you believe it?
The movie, by the way, was pretty funny. Not the funniest movie I've ever seen but I laughed pretty hard and would recommend it to others.
It also has a pretty amazing soundtrack. You should check it out.
I was never really into this book when I was younger, but I appreciated it's originality. Regardless this movie looks like it's going to be amazing. I can't wait to see it.
I finally finished reading/listening to Lolita. And while the books was amazingly well-written, I found myself at the end of the journey completely sick of the book. I even found Jeremy Irons' voice annoying after awhile. And, considering how much I admire Mr. Irons, I think that says a lot.
How is anyone supposed to read this book and not be completely appalled and chaffed by Humbert Humbert's ad nauseum obsession with Dolly. I was counting down the seconds till the book was over. But, with that being said, I admit that I'm very glad to have read Lolita, and will in the future pick up one of Nabokov's books that doesn't focus on manic desires for the unattainable and grotesque.
The hummingbird feeder on my parents patio is the watering hole for all Newport Beach Colibris. Boyan caught it all on camera so you can take a look. It's insane.
You can see all of Boyan's videos and pictures of the hummingbirds on his flickr.
Jezebel posted today that a new Grey Gardens is coming to HBO starring Drew Barrymore.
It's a remake of the 1975 documentary that depicts the life of the eccentric aunt and cousin of Jackie O, Edith Ewing Bouvier Beale and her daughter Edith Bouvier Beale.
The original documentary looks fantastic (see below) but the new version looks great also. You can watch the trailer on Jezebel here.
Burning red hair atop a pale face and placid blue eyes. Oh, what I would give to be painted with her pallet.
I adore Neko Case, and if you can get your hands on her "Live from Austin, TX" album you should because it is life-altering. I have yet to pick up her newest album, "Middle Cyclone," but what I've heard on KCRW (Jason Bentley plays This Tornado Loves You at the start of Morning Becoming Eclectic almost everyday. By the way, what happened to Nic?!?!) I liked.
Anyways, the A.V. Club interviewed her, and you can read it here.
I just finished reading, or listening rather, to Claire Messud's "The Emperor's Children."
I really enjoyed listening to this book. I even took to downloading the audio book and listening to it on my MP3 player so that I may listen while not in my car.
It is so well written. Beautiful descriptions. Lyrical sentences. I've rarely read (again, or listened to) a book where I felt like I knew exactly what the author was trying to say. It spoke to me, every scene, every character came alive.
Unfortunately I finished the book feeling dissatisfied. The resolutions of many of the characters remained unclear at book's end. The author left me wondering what happened to all of the people I had come to love and with whom I commiserated, which I think it a disservice to the readers who had spend so much time getting to know them. Ultimately, what purpose does it serve to create a story of intertwining dialogues and perspectives just to let them all fall flat at the end by providing no or a weak resolution?
I'll definitely buy it and read the story (really read it) just to observe how Messud constructs her sentences and paints her descriptions. I'll even read another one of her novels. She's a masterful writer, I hope only on further investigation that her storytelling is better than what I conceived upon my first impression.
You can read Salon's review and recap of her story here.
Doesn't this look like a beautiful place to see a play? Who wants to go with me?
Wikipedia says: "The Minack Theatre is an open-air theatre, constructed above a gully with a rocky granite outcrop jutting into the sea (minack in Cornish means a stony or rocky place). The theatre is located near Porthcurno, 4 miles from Land's End in Cornwall, England, United Kingdom.
Nowadays, the theatre is used from June to September for a full summer season of 17 plays, produced by companies from all over the UK and visiting companies from the USA. The theatre is open for visitors throughout the rest of the year."
There are quite a few author's I like to keep track of, and mother-daughter team P.C. and Kristin Cast are definitely one (or two) of them. So imagine my surprise when I found out today that their newest book "Hunted" was going to be out next Tuesday! It's like Christmas came early! In all the mess and confusion of trying to apply to grad school, and starting new classes, and zooming through Charlaine Harris' books, I totally forgot that a new "House of Night" book was due out this March!
I re-read the books (Marked, Betrayed, Chosen) in anticipation of their fourth book "Untamed" last September, and rushed to Borders the day it was out (the sales clerk had to get the book out from the back they hadn't even put them on display yet). I read the entire book that night.
These books are so much fun. Less tame than Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse novels, but with a little bit more bite than Stephenie Meyer's Twilight (not to mention that Zoey Redbird is the kind of protagonist that I wished Bella Swan could have been).
Also, they made a cool little trailer for the book which you could watch below:
I'm glad to see that the Casts are getting so much promotion, I feel like so many good books fail because they aren't properly promoted, so get the word out Untamed is out March 10th!
He desperately wants to be considered funny. He'll ask me, arms outstretched expectantly, "I'm funny right?" And I'll answer, "Yes, Boyan. You are the funniest person I know."
He's Bulgarian. Okay, sure, you shouldn't love someone because of where they come from, but I appreciate the new perspectives on the world that he has given me because he is not from here.
So I picked it up yesterday around 4:00 p.m. and finished it when I got home last night. It was a quick read (it is a YA novel after all), and a pleasant distraction for a few hours, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was reading a milder version of Phillip Pullman's, The Golden Compass.
I would say read it if you feel like you'd like a quick mental break on a lazy Sunday. Otherwise, if you've read The Golden Compass, or any other Young Adult novel then you've read this already.
I'm reading Crime and Punishment right now--and don't get me wrong it's an amazing book and I'm really enjoying it--but I really want to be reading Jane Eyre. I came to this realization when I was creating my reading lists from past and present (take a look at the right!), and found the DVD of Jane Eyre featuring Anna Paquin as Young Jane.
I love Anna Paquin, more so now that I'm obsessed with True Blood, and I'd like to re-read the book (one of my favorites) and watch her in the movie to see how she was when she was little (I've seen it once before but I wanna watch it again!).
So, I was looking through amazon for Crime and Punishment (same reason as stated before) and discovered that Patrick Dempsey played Raskolnikov in TV series version of Crime and Punishment! I shit you not. Sir Ben Kingsley was in it too, he played Porfiry. I'm so watching this once I finish the book.
I was browsing on Amazon, trying to figure out when books from some of my favorite authors will be available in stores, when I stumbled upon Catching Fire the sequel to the Hunger Games!
I am BEYOND excited for this book to come out. The first one was amazing and ended in a cliff hanger which has been eating away at me for months. Months!
He expects everything he purchases to be of the highest quality. Which can be a good or a bad thing. For example, he's really picky about food and when things don't meet his standards he complains, but when they are good he gets really, really excited (to the point of being obnoxious and I have to tell him, lovingly of course, to shut up).
His "pickyness" has made me appreciate the finer things in life. I eat better now that we're together. I know what a good tomato tastes like! I drink better coffee. I have products and technology in my house that work very well (and didn't cost a whole lot).
And to top it all off, his pickyness makes me feel pretty good about myself. He must think I'm pretty awesome if he chose me to be his wife right? Right.
Woman: I had a dream last night. I was driving down Olympic. It was the middle of the night. No, it was day time. All the lights were green and the street was empty. No cars, no people. I started driving really fast, then there was this woman, standing there in the middle of the street. I woke up before I hit her. What do you think it means?
Man: Well, What do you think it means?
Woman: I think it means I should take Pico instead of Olympic.
Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon.com, was on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Monday to talk about the release of the Kindle 2. He was a really good sport and didn't mind that Jon Stewart tried in every way possible to make the Kindle 2 look like an exorbitant piece of technology. AND to top it all off, he has an amazing laugh. Check it out for yourself.
I was in a large hospital. It was gray and blue and there was a siren wailing in the background. People flooded the halls at the sound and started making their way towards the elevators to go I did not know where. The crowd frightened me and I didn't want to follow them to what I was sure was a cattle call to the slaughter. I found a man standing at the end of the hall, he was holding a mop.
"Where are the stairs?" I asked him.
He walked around the corner and stood in front of a door nodding towards it with his head. I opened the door and went down the stairs to the first floor. People were following me, obviously I wasn't the only one who didn't want to follow the rest.
This floor was as busy as the last, except people had more of a sense of mission to them. Several officials stood at the ends of the hall, directing the young adults into various elevators. I looked around desperately for an exit but there were no windows and no obvious way out. The black man was there again. I approached him slowly so as not to draw attention to him or myself.
"Where is the exit? How do I get out?"
The man looked at me, then looked around to see if anyone was watching. An official to our right was observing us, listening to our conversation. He looked me dead in the eyes to communicate his meaning. "I was always a fan of death," he said. He looked at me and then past me at the other end of the hall. He started mopping in the opposite direction, and I started walking in the direction he insinuated.
I came to a door which had a label on it that said, "Death."
I didn't want to go in, but I knew that if I was going to escape I would have to enter. The people who had followed me were obviously nervous but ready to go where ever I went.
I took a breath and stepped quickly in. It was a long and narrow room. On my right was a conveyor belt that was colored a sterile blue. I started moving quickly. Ahead of me on the floor I saw a group of discarded fetuses. I looked passed them and tried not to think about it. There was nothing I could do. Ahead of a me, large transparent bodies were being regenerated. Their skin was clear and looked fragile to the touch. Blue and red veins were grafted and organs fluttered beneath it.
At the end of the machine was an old woman, sewing what looked to be something organic in her hands. Behind her was the way out.
The first conversation I had with Boyan, was about whether or not cows had to have been pregnant to produce milk. I contended that they had to have been pregnant at least once before producing milk, and given hormones there after to continue producing milk.
Boyan disagreed with me. (He still disagrees with me...)
Then, tried to tell me that you could milk a dolphin. We still have this argument to this day.
Okay, maybe not so much. But listening to Jindal in the gym tonight reminded me of something I heard on NPR about Obama not being able to stop campaigning until after the 2012 election. Jindal's delivery of the GOP response to Obama's speech sounded like a campaign speech.
Do you guys notice how much he sounds like a preacher in Sunday school? It totally creeps me out. When I asked my friend Emily about it, she said that he'd have to talk like a preacher in order to win the gubernatorial election in Louisiana.
But seriously people, Republicans are looking at Jindal as their hope to restore the GOP to the white house--their ethnic bid for the presidency.
It sounds like the GOP is going to do everything they can to cast a shadow of doubt on Obama in order to sway public opinion and get their candidate in office in 2012. It's like the election campaign never ended. So much for bipartisanship.
I shit you not. This is happening.
p.s. this is totally the picture of the day... amazing.
I visited Stephenie Meyer's site the other day when I was 
