Hello? Are you there? Can you hear me? It’s hard to tell with this screen separating us. The only way I can communicate with you is by tapping my fingers on this strange plank with small-lettered buttons, or on an even smaller screen using my thumbs. In the future humans will be known as a species that communicated using only their hands.
I’m sure you’re busy. You have a job, things to do, but I’m wondering if you have a second for me. I have something I want to tell you.
No? You’re too busy reading Dlisted? You have a meeting? You’re bidding on something on eBay? That’s okay, I’ll wait.
…
Hey! Do you have time for me now?
Can we talk about the important things? What do you mean what important things, the important things. Let’s talk about politics. You’re not political? What does that mean? I don’t want to get sanctimonious on you but it’s important, you know? You have to know what’s going on. You can’t just condemn your right-wing cousin in Arizona and not be a little concerned about where he is getting his information, or what other less sane people will do with it.
Have you seen the news? There was another shooting. No, not Aurora, I’m talking about Texas A&M. I know it’s tragic and I know your father believes in the 2nd amendment, but do you know the statistics show having a gun in the home is more likely to be used in a homicide, suicide, or unintentional shooting than to be used in self-defense? Do you really think you need to be able to have semi-automatic weapons to protect yourself? Does your Dad think he’s some sort of cowboy? He’s going to have a shoot-out at the O-K Corral?
I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that about your Dad. Sure we can talk about something else. Did you see the new Batman movie? Every time I’ve gone to see a movie in the past month I’ve had a moment of panic where I think someone is going to come into the theater and start shooting people. I’m being serious. I think about what I would do if it happened. You know what I’d do? I’d climb on top of my husband and pretend to be dead. I’d try to hide under the seats. If I ran, I’d run in zigzags to make it harder for the gunman to shoot me. All of this would be for naught if he had a semi-automatic rifle, though. He could just spray the crowd and we’d all be dead. I think, if something happens to Boyan I want to die too. I wouldn't want to live without him.
I know. I’m sorry I’m back to that but I can’t help myself. I don’t understand why we can’t talk about this without you getting mad at me. Preachy? You think I’m preachy? I care. It’s important. I care. If that means I’m preachy I guess that’s what I am. I guess I am trying to convert you. You’re my friend and I know you’re smart and I just want you to care. This election is too important not to care.
You plan on voting for Romney? Why? I don’t understand. You know by voting for Romney you’re voting against your own best interests, right? You do? Okay.
Then I guess I don’t know what to say.
Judgmental? I don't want you think I'm judging you. I don't know, maybe I am. I'm sorry. Yea, we can talk about something else.
It has been really hot recently. Climate change, you know.
You gotta go? Alright. Are we still on for this weekend? You can't come? That's okay. Another time. We'll talk soon. I hope it's about something important.
I thought April Fool's Day was over. No, seriously when I saw this posted on Jezebel I thought it was a joke but sure as shit Kal Penn is "leaving House to work at the White House."
I was incredibly honored a couple of months ago to get the opportunity to go work in the White House. I got to know the President and some of the staff during the campaign and had expressed interest in working there, so I'm going to be the associate director in the White House office of public liaison. They do outreach with the American public and with different organizations. They're basically the front door of the White House. They take out all of the red tape that falls between the general public and the White House. It's similar to what I was doing on the campaign.
I've been thinking about [moving into politics] for a while. I love what I do as an actor. I couldn't love it more. But probably from the time I was a kid, I really enjoyed that balance between the arts and public service. I went to a performing arts high school, but I still took a bunch of those dorky political science classes. It's probably because of the value system my grandparents instilled in me. They marched with Gandhi in the Indian independence movement, and that was always in the back of my head. So the past couple of years I thought about it a little m...ore. And in '06 I started this international studies program at Stanford, where they actually let you do most of the course work online. So it was something I could do while I was acting. And I thought this might be the right time to go off and do something else.
So there you have it. You can read the full account at the Huffington Post. Say goodbye to Kal Penn, Dr. Kutner and hello to Kal Penn Associate Director in the White House Office of whatever the f*ck. I'm sure you'll do a great job in the Obama Administration, but you will be missed at Princeton-Plainsboro.
Okay, maybe not so much. But listening to Jindal in the gym tonight reminded me of something I heard on NPR about Obama not being able to stop campaigning until after the 2012 election. Jindal's delivery of the GOP response to Obama's speech sounded like a campaign speech.
Do you guys notice how much he sounds like a preacher in Sunday school? It totally creeps me out. When I asked my friend Emily about it, she said that he'd have to talk like a preacher in order to win the gubernatorial election in Louisiana.
But seriously people, Republicans are looking at Jindal as their hope to restore the GOP to the white house--their ethnic bid for the presidency.
It sounds like the GOP is going to do everything they can to cast a shadow of doubt on Obama in order to sway public opinion and get their candidate in office in 2012. It's like the election campaign never ended. So much for bipartisanship.
I shit you not. This is happening.
p.s. this is totally the picture of the day... amazing.
Well there it is. 2008 is gone and we're welcoming 2009 with open arms and the promise of change. But before we get too ahead of ourselves let us look back on what was promised to be an historic year.
January
It seems like it was only yesterday that Mariana came to visit. January was an up and down month. A month filled with family, fun, and heartbreak. Or maybe just...car break. My car was broken into on New Years Day, not a great start to 2008.
February
2008 was the much-anticipated election year, and February was when the election debates really started to heat up. I stirred up some controversy with friends and family by supporting Ron Paul, but other than that February was a relatively quiet month. Boyan started working at Newegg at the beginning of the month, and we enjoyed each other's company at lunch.
March March was the month we said goodbye to Bill Dotta. I can't say again how loved this man was. He is missed by many and forgotten by none.
We also said goodbye to Stephanie. She moved cross-country to tackle the Big Apple.
April April slugged by. Boyan celebrated his 25th birthday on the 18th. We had a bunch of Elysee people over and it was a lot of fun.
May In May a bunch of us girls traveled down to Temecula for a weekend of drinking and spa-ing for Ruth's Bachelorette Party!
June June was a very happy month. On June 8th Boyan and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary, and at the end of the month I left the god-forsaken offices of Newegg for the bright and shiny offices of Demand Media by the sea. It would mark the beginning of a daily 80 mile commute, but it was well worth it to get far away from the People's Republic of NE. Boyan and I invested in a little scooter, so Boyan could get to and from work without me and we looked towards July as a month that would start a new chapter in our lives.
July July went by quickly and painlessly. Boyan and I adjusted to our new schedules and we wished a Happy Birthday to Mom, George and Grandma. I prepared for my trip to Chicago in August and decided that I would cut off all my hair!
August
I had a blast visiting Chicago for the short amount of time I was there. Ruth was a beautiful bride, and it was fun having all us girls together!
August was also the month that I had to bid goodbye to my dear friend and fellow bibliophile Emily. It was a very very sad time indeed.
September In September was I blessed enough to stumble upon Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games. My appetite for books was as voracious as ever and I continued my spree by reading a total of six books in September alone.
October The month began in Las Vegas. Or rather, I began my month in Las Vegas for Stephanie's Bachelorette Party. We did what people do in Vegas, and generally had a good time.
I slipped into my 24th year of living rather quietly without fuss or frenzy. The friends that matter called me to wish me a happy one, those who forgot quite simply forgot and that's fine.
I decided to take some initiative with my writing and started taking a class at UCLA extension.
And finally I said goodbye to the rest of my hair. Dawning a new shorter do a la Michelle Williams.
Boyan and I went to New York to visit my dear friend Janea and her boyfriend Jon and we had a wonderful time despite New York being "filthy" as Boyan would call it. We walked more than six miles not including miles tracked inside museums, shops and the like in one day, but we had a blast.
October was also the month that Stephanie got married!
November I went to Louisiana to visit Emily and it was owesome!
We ate Benoits, and didn't care when we got powdered sugar all over everything.
We saw the Twilight Movie. Then bitched for the rest of the weekend about how god-awful it was.
We went to a plantation and desecrated the Slaves quarters.
I rang a really old bell...I don't think I was supposed to...EMILY MADE ME I SWEAR!
We went to Pat O's in New Orleans and got way drunk off of one Hurricane.
When I got back, I followed Britta's lead and cast my life as a movie.
December December was a great month. My short story, "The Second Time" was published in The Broadkill Review! I couldn't be happier. I finished my class and got ready for the holidays. Britta was up from San Diego so she accompanied me to my Holiday Party.
And finally the year came full circle on December 30th, when my car was broken into again. Instead of stealing my iPod, they stole my CD's and attempted to steal my stereo but failed. I'm grateful that they didn't break my windows again, but I'm starting to wonder if these thieves really like my taste in music or are just incredibly stupid. Either way, Boyan and I aren't going to stick around to find out.
2008 was a good year as I predicted it would be. Ups and downs and small achievements here and there. I lost about 25 pounds since the beginning of the year, got a new job, got published! And, not to brag but just for my own personal satisfaction, here is a list of all the books I read from January to December:
A Wrinkle in Time (re-read) Madeleine L'Engle The Secret Garden (re-read) Frances Hodgson Burnett I Wanted to Write Kenneth Roberts The Penguin Who Knew Too Much Donna Andrews Interview with the Vampire Anne Rice Old Man's War John Scalzi Murder Melts in Your Mouth Nancy Martin The Vampire Lestat Anne Rice The Ghost Brigades John Scalzi The Queen of the Damned Anne Rice Xenocide Orson Scott Card Children of the Mind Orson Scott Card The Last Colony John Scalzi Stranger in a Strange Land Robert A. Heinlein Middlemarch George Eliot The Seduction of the Crimson Rose Lauren Willig Twilight (x3) Stephenie Meyer Marked (re-read) Kristin Cast and PC Cast Betrayed (re-read) Kristin Cast and PC Cast Chosen (re-read) Kristin Cast and PC Cast New Moon (x2) Stephenie Meyer Eclipse (x2) Stephenie Meyer Breaking Dawn (x2) Stephenie Meyer The Gunslinger Stephen King The Drawing of the Three Stephen King The Host: A Novel Stephenie Meyer Hunger Games Suzanne Collins Battle Royale Koushun Takami Untamed Kristin Cast and PC Cast Uglies Scott Westerfeld Pretties Scott Westerfeld Specials Scott Westerfeld Extras Scott Westerfeld Revolutionary Road Richard Yates On Writing Stephen King
That's a whopping 35 for those of you keeping count. And thats not including the books I read more than once (which would bring it up to 40, an average of 3.5 books every month. That's about a book a week!).
2008 was a very successful year. I only hope 2009 is bigger and brighter.
Oh! And one last note. I just want to say...Happy Birthday Joanish! Happy 25th! And congrats on Law School, I'll be seeing you soon in San Diego. Love you.
Sarah Palin checked and re-checked her poof in the mirror. The hairstylist had only left five minutes ago, but she felt compelled to make sure that every hair was in its place, her bangs perfectly spaced on her forehead. Everything was amplified to appear perfect on the television screens across America.
She had her points down, but went over them again in her head. Looking at herself in the mirror, she recited the lines one by one—trying to remember which words her speech coach had told her to say louder, the way she was supposed to move her lips with the vowels and where her tongue should start and stop on the consonants. She was ready.
"You are ready," her reflection confirmed.
She had been picking at her cuticles, and her left thumb was bleeding. Running over to her purse she delicately sifted through her tools till she found a Kleenex and blotted away the evidence.
She returned to the mirror to practice her smile. 'This is what America is going to see.' She had to be okay with it. Not just okay, confident. She was a pit bull, a maverick, despite the thudding in her chest that gave away her anxiety. She'd be nervous, but nervous with a smile. Hopefully no one would notice.
She looked at her wrist to check the time but there was no watch. She had taken it off when her stylist had come to dress her.
"You don't want to be checking the time while Biden is speaking, it'll look like you're bored."
She placed her right hand on her wrist and felt the absence. She reached for her phone, it was 5:55 p.m., five minutes to go. She checked to see if there were messages of encouragement from her family. Just one from her handler, "Smile, tilt, wink. You got it!"
She was all alone. She walked over to the couch and faced the door, her feet separated from the cold linoleum of the classroom by the thin netting of her stockings.
The door flew open to break the silence, "Governor Palin, we're ready for you." The girl with the mic attached to her ear didn't look up at her, eyes fixated on the clipboard in her hands.
She followed the girl to the edge of the stage, and in the darkness tried different variations of her first line, smiling to herself.
"Can I call you JOE?" "Can-I-call-ya-Joe?" "Can I call you Joe?"
She heard a few chuckles come from behind her and her heart sped up. She took the last few seconds in the darkness to try to get her heart to slow down. Her eyelids lay soft on her face – a bit heavy from the mask her make-up artist had applied. She pressed her hands flat on her hips, moving them up and down to wipe off the sweat. The light from the stage and voices of the crowd faded away as she focused on that one line.
------------------------------------------------------- This story originated from a writing exercise in my introduction to fiction class. We were supposed to choose one character (from the many options including Chewbacca and Richard Simmons) and write a story about them. Of course I chose Sarah Palin, and I thought I would share it with you. Enjoy!
If you have five minutes to spare you have to watch this video called, "Food Fight" it's truly amazing. You can read a list of all the foods and what countries they represent here.
When you're done with that, take a look at this dog.
A while back I made a T-shirt for Boyan on Zazzle. Since then four people have purchased the shirt and Zazzle was kind enough to send me a check for royalties. It was only 7 bucks, but hey It's money, right?
In lieu of this Boyan and I decided to upload more shirt designs in hopes that people would buy them. Here is what we came up with:
