Hello? Are you there? Can you hear me? It’s hard to tell with this screen separating us. The only way I can communicate with you is by tapping my fingers on this strange plank with small-lettered buttons, or on an even smaller screen using my thumbs. In the future humans will be known as a species that communicated using only their hands.
I’m sure you’re busy. You have a job, things to do, but I’m wondering if you have a second for me. I have something I want to tell you.
No? You’re too busy reading Dlisted? You have a meeting? You’re bidding on something on eBay? That’s okay, I’ll wait.
Hey! Do you have time for me now?
Can we talk about the important things? What do you mean what important things, the important things. Let’s talk about politics. You’re not political? What does that mean? I don’t want to get sanctimonious on you but it’s important, you know? You have to know what’s going on. You can’t just condemn your right-wing cousin in Arizona and not be a little concerned about where he is getting his information, or what other less sane people will do with it.
Have you seen the news? There was another shooting. No, not Aurora, I’m talking about Texas A&M. I know it’s tragic and I know your father believes in the 2nd amendment, but do you know the statistics show having a gun in the home is more likely to be used in a homicide, suicide, or unintentional shooting than to be used in self-defense? Do you really think you need to be able to have semi-automatic weapons to protect yourself? Does your Dad think he’s some sort of cowboy? He’s going to have a shoot-out at the O-K Corral?
I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that about your Dad. Sure we can talk about something else. Did you see the new Batman movie? Every time I’ve gone to see a movie in the past month I’ve had a moment of panic where I think someone is going to come into the theater and start shooting people. I’m being serious. I think about what I would do if it happened. You know what I’d do? I’d climb on top of my husband and pretend to be dead. I’d try to hide under the seats. If I ran, I’d run in zigzags to make it harder for the gunman to shoot me. All of this would be for naught if he had a semi-automatic rifle, though. He could just spray the crowd and we’d all be dead. I think, if something happens to Boyan I want to die too. I wouldn't want to live without him.
I know. I’m sorry I’m back to that but I can’t help myself. I don’t understand why we can’t talk about this without you getting mad at me. Preachy? You think I’m preachy? I care. It’s important. I care. If that means I’m preachy I guess that’s what I am. I guess I am trying to convert you. You’re my friend and I know you’re smart and I just want you to care. This election is too important not to care.
You plan on voting for Romney? Why? I don’t understand. You know by voting for Romney you’re voting against your own best interests, right? You do? Okay.
Then I guess I don’t know what to say.
Judgmental? I don't want you think I'm judging you. I don't know, maybe I am. I'm sorry. Yea, we can talk about something else.
It has been really hot recently. Climate change, you know.
You gotta go? Alright. Are we still on for this weekend? You can't come? That's okay. Another time. We'll talk soon. I hope it's about something important.