Being patient in suffering

More thoughts on unemployment.

When you're a child you can't wait to grow up. You want to be able to do whatever you want without your parents correcting or controlling you. But what children don't understand about being an adult and making your own decisions is that liberty means you have to find your own way without a safety net. As an adult, reprimands and punishments no longer come in the form of time outs and groundings--they come as traffic violations, DUIs, pregnancies, illness, jail and death. Uplifting, right?

So in order to protect yourself from life's injustices you get a job. You compromise. You do something that isn't important to you so that you can collect a paycheck, pay rent, buy things. And if feels like you live your day-to-day as an investment in your future. You invest your money for retirement. You plan your children's lives in order to give them a successful life. You live to benefit other people. You live for another time.

I've been in such a hurry for so long--sprinting towards my goals wanting more money, more accomplishments, more of everything. I'm finally coming to realize that the wanting has brought me to a place of dissatisfaction. If I'm always looking ahead to what I don't have, I'm not looking around to appreciate what I do have. 

I have a luxury that many others who are without work do not--I have savings, and a husband with an income that provides us with enough for now. I'm collecting unemployment which also helps. So I'm not going to compromise on my next job. While interviewing I'm going make sure that the company is the right fit for me instead of only thinking about selling myself to them. I'm not worried about finding a job, I know it will come.

So my goal for the remainder of my unemployment, and really something I hope to do going forward is to slow down. I want to take time to do things mindfully, and to let the passion and eagerness and ambition that sparks white-hot inside me settle into a slow, sustaining burn. I'm going to take the time that I so willing shucked away as a child right now. I believe it will make me a better writer. And my hope is that it will also make me a happier person.

I am too much with the world

Every wednesday some people from my office try to get away from the big city and explore the mountains that surround Los Angeles. Yesterday we went to Santa Ynez Canyon in the Topanga Canyon State Park.

The trail was extremely overgrown and looked as if it had been pretty much abandoned in recent years. The only markings of other humans on the trail was the occasional footprint and unfortunately some graffiti.

Overall it was gorgeous--like something out of a movie. The canyons were lush and green, it was like we were in a remote jungle. The silence was beautiful. Here are a few pictures.

The mountain held the town as in a shadow.
I saw so much before I slept there once:
I noticed that I missed stars in the west,
Where its black body cut into the sky.
Near me it seemed: I felt it like a wall
Behind which I was sheltered from a wind.
And yet between the town and it I found,
When I walked forth at dawn to see new things,
Were fields, a river, and beyond, more fields.
The river at the time was fallen away,
And made a widespread brawl on cobble-stones;
But the signs showed what it had done in spring;
Good grass-land gullied out, and in the grass
Ridges of sand, and driftwood stripped of bark.
I crossed the river and swung round the mountain.

--The Mountain, Robert Frost

Coming soon

New job details, Ruth and Louis's wedding, Chicago trip and United Airlines vendetta, my new hair cut and the Stephenie Meyer Twilight series.

Big News!

I've been waiting to announce this for a while now (okay, like 3 days but it seemed like a while) but...I got a new job!

Starting June 30th I'll be joining Demand Media as the new Content Editor for livestrong.com!
The site is run by Demand Media, working with Lance Armstrong and the Lance Armstrong Foundation. I'm super duper excited! More updates TK.

I'm Verklempt! I'll give you a topic...

Listening to music while at work is neither productive or destructive...DISCUSS!

Spherion Survey: Workers Say Listening to Music While Working Improves Job Satisfaction, Productivity
Nearly one-third of adult workers listen to music at work using an iPod, MP3 player or similar personal music device

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FT. LAUDERDALE, Fla., September 18, 2006 — According to the latest Spherion^® Workplace Snapshot survey conducted by Harris Interactive^®, almost one-third (32 percent) of workers listen to music while working using an iPod, MP3 player or similar personal music device. Of those, 79 percent feel that doing so improves their job satisfaction and/or productivity. The survey also found that 10 percent of adults who use personal music devices while working spend more than 50 percent of their time tuned in.

The percentage of workers who feel that listening to a personal music device improves their job satisfaction and/or productivity is highest among younger adults, with 90 percent of workers aged 18 to 24 and 89 percent of those aged 30 to 39 making this claim. In addition, of adult workers who listen to a personal music device while working, 55 percent feel it improves both job satisfaction and productivity—a number most likely driven by the 30 to 39 age group (at 68 percent).

“Recent research indicates that more than 40 million people worldwide own iPods, so it’s not surprising to find that nearly one-third of adults listen to these or similar devices while they work,” commented Nancy Halverson, Spherion vice president of talent development. “However, when the majority of those who listen also claim it improves their job satisfaction and productivity, employers ought to take note.

“Like many other new technologies that have seeped into the workplace, such as cell phones, Blackberries and instant messaging, personal music devices do have the potential to negatively impact performance and security in the workplace. This may be especially true in certain higher-risk jobs where the ability to hear clearly is paramount,” says Halverson. “Yet our survey has uncovered a compelling argument that allowing workers to listen to music while they work could pay dividends in the form of higher job satisfaction and productivity.”

The key, according to Halverson, is for employers to set ground rules for workers to avoid distractions or communication breakdowns. This can include asking workers to keep low volume levels, identifying designated areas where listening is acceptable and implementing policies governing the downloading of music and other files using company computers. Without guidelines, employers could see an increase in safety risks due to employees missing fire alarms or alerts from colleagues, and diminished customer service because employees don’t hear the phone or coworkers have difficulty getting their attention.

Other results from the most recent Spherion Workplace Snapshot Survey:

Workers aged 25 to 29 more likely to listen to music on a personal music device while working.

• Almost half (48 percent) of adults aged 25 to 29 say they listen to music on an iPod, MP3 player or similar personal music device while working—more than any other age group.
• Adults aged 50 to 64 are least likely to listen while working, with only 22 percent claiming to do so.

Higher-income workers more likely to listen to personal music devices at work.

• According to the survey, 35 percent of adults earning $35,000 or more say they listen to music on an iPod, MP3 player or similar personal music device while working. (Specifically, 35 percent of those earning $35,000 to $49,999, 36 percent who earn $50,000 to $74,999, and 35 percent of those earning $75,000 or more per year listen while they work.)
• By contrast, only 22 percent of workers earning less than $25,000 listen while they work, and only 26 percent of those earning $25,000 to $34,999 do so.

Male workers more likely to report improved job satisfaction and/or productivity.

• 82 percent of male adults who listen to a personal music device while working report that it improves their job satisfaction and/or productivity, compared to 76 percent of female adults.
• Similarly, 24 percent of female workers who listen to a personal music device while working indicate that it improves neither job satisfaction nor productivity, compared to 18 percent of adult males.

Overhearing conversations

I work with this old guy. Imagine Creed from the office, but with a Russian accent and no tact...and older.

"I primarily work with African American women so you can imagine the level I'm teaching right now."

And later, on a phone interview for another job (yes this is in the office):

"Yes I worked at California Institute of Technology, CalTech, Please read my resume before asking questions."

Today is his last day and yes he will be missed.